“Existential Aloneness”

All relationships are only on the surface.
Deep inside you are always alone.

A thousand people may surround you;
yet, a part of you is always alone.
Even when you embrace your beloved,
a part of you is always alone.

You came into this world alone
and you will leave this world alone.

Liberation comes from knowing
‘Existential Aloneness’
is your true nature.

Relate from this space
and you will be dependable;
else you will be dependent.

“Frozen Thoughts”

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20 thoughts on ““Existential Aloneness”

  1. if all the relationships are superficial as you had defined…
    just define y do feel the pain deep inside when u leave ur beloved one??

    at evry point of life a situation arises where u need to depend..

    so dependable and dependent go together…

  2. You feel pain because you let yourself to feel. Pain is good, but it should not become your suffering. Relationships are necessary but you should never forget yourself. “Self” is always alone. Give sometime to yourself. Just you and observe your surroundings, nature, and look above…at the sky, then you might realize (only if you allow) that we are so alone as an individual. As Bhagavad Gita rightly says – We came alone, we’ll go alone.

  3. Hi Nandini. Sorry to plague you with comments and trackbacks tonight, but I am curious what you mean by saying that by accepting our inherent isolation, we shed our dependence on the physical world (if that’s what you meant). Do you mean that if we cease trying to fill our lives from the outside, that we can then become dependable? Hope you’re well.

  4. Hi Ian. Please do not be sorry. :)

    Yes I meant exactly what you understood. By knowing that deep down you are unique and alone, you tend to be less dependent. The word “dependent” here relates more to our emotional dependance (well, I prefer to take it that way :) ). You become your own source of happiness. And once you are not affected by outside world for your behavior and reactions towards others, you definitely would be more liberal. You would respond instead of reacting to a particular situation. It doesn’t exactly mean to cease to fill our lives from outside, but in the realization that you are alone in this Universe, and no one has the right to affect you in any way. You will remain what you are as a person. You will become dependable. You are not going to change yourself because somebody else says so.

    I hope I was making sense to you. Because it is very difficult to put into words what I want to say.
    :)

  5. I can’t thank you enough, Nandini. I’ve been trying to figure this very problem out for half my life. My answer has always been to try to erase the boundaries between myself and others, which is probably not healthy. :-) This poem struck me so much, for that reason. I have never thought before to celebrate my unique place in the Universe.

    I hope you’re having an excellent day. No one has ever lived this day before! :-)

  6. When you said “trying to erase the boundaries isn’t healthy” in what sense you did you say it? :)

    And yes a very nice day. The best part is it’s sunny today. A big relief in winters.

    Cheers to life!

  7. I think my desire to erase the subjective comes from a fear of being existentially alone. For instance, I can’t keep a journal and not share it, because it feels as if the words don’t exist if someone else doesn’t see them and feel them. In fact, I feel that I don’t exist unless someone experiences me in some way. Which is all rather compulsive, and probably not healthy. :-) And in all this, it had simply never occurred to me to embrace isolation. I had always considered it one of God’s tests for humankind, to create a reality where we are all fundamentally separate.

    Anyway, I hope you’re well, and I second your cheers! :-)

  8. Well, it is great that you eventually realized and understood this just another truth of life which although always existed.
    :)

    “Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope sets you free.”

    • What I’m learning is that we make our own hope, with positive action. I think fear causes a feeling a helplessness, which in turn creates more fear. It’s like one has to just realize this and step outside of it altogether, and do hopeful things. :-)

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