“O my God,” I said to myself out loud, smiling, when I woke up on 1st January, 2011, “today is the first day of another year! and I’m alive.” Then I thought today is also the beginning of a whole new decade. “Decade” … that sounds huge. … Of course it is huge, it contains ten years, a huge chunk of my entire life. And just when my mind started thinking about the uncertain i.e. about the future ten years of my life, it suddenly chose to think the other way. The past decade of my life. Well… that is quite explicable, since thinking about past is easy since it the past, things which have already happened. And in no more than a second, my mind was full of flashes from my past, this thought, that thought. Flood of images, of moments of laughter and tears, all of them all together.
“Stop!” I told myself. It was 7.30 in the morning, and since I was late to get up (I had decided the last night to wake up early), I had to finish some of the urgent things so that I do not run out of time later. I pushed all the thoughts aside and decided to consider them sometime later that day. After all, the year has just begun!… Show has just started ;) And my memories, well.. they are not going anywhere.
Later that day, I sat down to ponder about the time I spent (or “lived” is a better word to use) during past ten years. Did I live it right? Or have I really “lived” in those years of my life in a living-sense-of-a-way?
Thinking about the past, really? It’s a bad idea as most people would say. But I say, consider the idea again. I do not think it is a bad idea. Dreading about the bad times is not what I’m suggesting when I ask you to consider to look back through the window of your mind into your past. Give yourself and your life some respect. Everyone has some good and bad times in their lives. One needs to appreciate their life, including all the good things and the difficult times they had to face. Also, include your mistakes. They made you realize you are just a human being, and the most you can make out of them is to learn from them. Forgive all those who left you hurt in some way or the other. I know, not an easy thing to do for most of you out there. But give it a try. It will be easy once you start. And for one thing I’m sure of, most of them are not even in your life now. So forgive. Take that burden out of your shoulders now. Not now then when? On your death-bed? (If you are lucky enough to get there. Mostly, and it is a sad fact, that people die before they realize it). And above all, be grateful to God for everyone and everything in your life.
Well back to myself, I then started recollecting all the events which changed my life in the past ten years. The number of events is difficult to remember, but surely they all were significant. Most of them happened because of the choices I made, and some were not in my hands. They just happened. And all those events shaped my present. And may be that’s why I am able to write in my blog… since one day I made a decision to start a blog and now I’m here. And same goes for the other things in my life.
And now, I am happy that I can say it and I’m gonna say it :
“I’ve truly (may be not fully) “lived” my life in the past decade. Or at least I have tried to. Let me say it like this: I made some tough decisions and made sure that I do not waver, although so many situations came which made me realize that I might be wrong. Thank you Mom and Dad for believing in me, without you I never would have reached till here. What I’m today is because of you two, because you were always there for me. Thank you my sister for being my best friend in this whole world. You are the three most important people in my life. I pray to God that in coming years I can spend time with you as much as I can. Thanks to my friends who were there for me when I needed them. I hope I was there for you too. Thanks to all those people who were rude to me because they made me realize that I should not behave that way to anyone. Thank you God for making me strong enough to handle difficult situations, and helping me in letting go of people I loved when that was the right thing to do. It is always a tough thing to do, but eventually I did succeed. Thank you God for letting me live, for being aware of my thoughts and deeds. I will definitely try to do this more, to live fully, to live for others too… To LIVE more, to do it right…”
God Bless this World.
Happy New Year everyone.
Smile! You are luckier than others out there.
“I know this love of mine will never die…”